Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
