It's Friday. Sex?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
