i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my sisters under your porch take her home
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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