i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
