Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
