I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
