i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Drake has all the answers
You ate ashes out of my bong
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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