why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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