somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
