There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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