I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
