Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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