Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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