remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This is classic penis vs brain.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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