Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
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i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
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I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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