im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
