Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
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he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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