i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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