her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
