Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
