My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
