He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
