She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
