How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
