But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
