Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This is the high leading the old right now
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Drunk is a universal language darling
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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