Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
