But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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