Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
