Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
