I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
