Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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