I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Two words: blizzard sex
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
