I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
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Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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