it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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