u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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