Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
