After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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