They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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