i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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