Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
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I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
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Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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