Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
