Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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