dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you had me at cake vodka
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
