you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
