Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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