my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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