...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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