like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When did angry sex become our thing?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
