would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
