Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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