The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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