no, he came in my armpit
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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