Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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