Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
