i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
