i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
