sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
