talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
