So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
