I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
