guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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