Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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