everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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